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Monday, March 21, 2011

Thank Heaven For Speed Humps

Do you ever get to a point in life where everything is going absolutely great, things are going the direction you want and nothing seems to be an issue, but then something jumps into your life and everything gets thrown out of the mix, causing you to stop and change directions? Or, do you ever get the feeling that things need to change, even though everything seems alright, you still feel like you need to go a different direction and can't continue until you do? 

I'm not talking about little "speed bumps" that everyone runs into on a regular basis, like trying to decide whether you should go to work/school today or just call in. I'm talking about major life changing decisions, major "speed humps" that if you're not careful and don't slow down, you wont just rock your suspension a little but you'll do a hard core nose dive into the pavement! They seem to come at the most inopportune times and seem so annoying and frustrating! I have come across speed humps three times in my life that I can remember. 

The first time I ran into a "speed hump" was when I was graduating from high school. I was really torn as to what I should do with my life. I knew in my heart that I was meant for great things, but I had little aspirations otherwise. I was getting to a point where I was going to give up and settle for doing almost nothing with my life. That's when I felt that my life was going to make a major change. 

My best friend from high school invited me to go to Rexburg Idaho to visit for the summer. Logically, it made absolutely no sense! Other than my friend, I knew no one in Idaho. I had no money, no job experience, and my non-LDS parents forbade me to go. 

But Heavenly Father new that if I just went the speed and direction I was going and didn't take a time out to go over that "speed hump," I would not arrive at the destination he had in store for me, a destination a hundred times better than I had ever dreamed. After praying and fasting about the invitation, I felt that I needed to go. It was the best decision I ever made because in less than one month from moving to Rexburg, I met with the missionaries and was baptized.

The second time I ran into a "speed hump" was a year and a half after my mission. I was back home with a great job that payed really well and had great benefits. I had a girlfriend who I was crazy about and she about me. I lived in a great apartment with a great roommate. I had a calling in the single's ward that I loved. Life was great...but it felt empty. My girlfriend and I knew that we were not meant to be together for long and eventually went our own ways. My roommate moved out to go to college and I was forced to move out of my apartment. Nothing seemed fulfilling anymore and I felt like I was in the wrong place.

Again, I spent a lot of time in prayer and fasting, seeking to know the Lord's will for me. With the help of friends, family, and Church leaders, acting as beacons on the side of the road to direct me, I was able to recognize that I needed to move and look into going back to school. When considering my choices, I finally decided upon Provo, Utah. Again, logically it seemed ridiculous. I would be quiting a great job for no job. I only knew one or two people in Utah. I wasn't even accepted to any school in the area, but I felt like I needed to go.

This was the second best decision I ever made (sort of). Just a couple months after moving to Provo, I met my future wife Sarah. I was made her home teacher and we began dating in April of the following year. Three weeks later we were engaged and a few months after that we were sealed in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple (actual second best decision).

Now, I have reached speed hump number three. I feel stuck, even though things seem to be going very well. I have another great job. I only have about a year to go with college before I graduate with a BA degree. Every thing is really going great! But now I can't see where I am going. There's a hump in my way! I thought I knew what path I wanted to take with my career and future plans after school, but now I'm not so sure. What seems even scarier for me during this speed hump is that I have passengers, my wife and children. It is one thing if I crash on the road of life while driving solo, but it's another thing if I crash with my family riding with me.

Of course, the immediate thing to do is the same thing I did during the previous experiences: pray and fast. I am also studying the scriptures as best as I can and am going to the temple as well. I know that this speed hump will be over before I know it and I will be basking in great blessings I had no idea I was missing. But until then, it sure is scary when you can't see over that hump.

Life could be worse I suppose. I could be ignoring the humps. I could choose to continue doing what I want and pay no heed to the humps. I could look at the humps as "restrictions" and rise up in rebellion against being restrained, declaring the need for independence and personal freedom, and just continue cruising along at whatever speed I desire. But the fact is that the humps are there and if I don't give them the attention they deserve I will end up just destroying myself in the process.

It could then be argued that the speed humps are not fair. Why would God, who is the great paver of life, place them, or allow them to be placed in our way if they restrict us and could destroy us? Doesn't He care about us and want us to be happy? I think the real answer is obvious. He actual does it because he cares about us. He doesn't want us to make decisions we will regret. If He allows us to live recklessly, then we could end up running into walls. We run the risk of hurting ourselves, loved ones, and those around us.

I guess then I shouldn't be complaining. Yes, life can be rough and have its bumps and humps. But the truth is that I have great navigators riding with me: my family. I also have the best GPS there is to offer directing me along the way: the Holy Ghost. I have a great road Atlas: the scriptures. And there are great beacons and signs along the road that give me direction as well: friends, family, and fellow saints.

I love my Heavenly Father so much and I know that He wants the absolute best for me. He has blessed me with so much in my life and I have no doubt that He will continue to do so. I know that my Savior lives and paved the way for me to live my life through His atoning sacrifice. Though life seems tough to me for now, I am grateful for these times of affliction. Thank heaven for speed humps!

2 comments:

Sarah Ragatz said...

I love you. I love life with you. I'm glad you want to work hard to go wherever our Father wants us to go. I have no doubt that with you, we'll make it there-wherever that is! Was this post in preparation for a talk? It sure sounds like one!

Laura D said...

Great thoughts. I know you will make the right choice, even if it is a hard thing to do. And crashing with a loving family doesn't feel like such a hard crash. And I don't know anyone with more faith than you Carman. So just keep doing the best you can!